


The Fade Simulation

by ms45



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Saints Row
Genre: Crossover, Multi, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 14:23:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3899563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms45/pseuds/ms45
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Former Carta Boss Goldie Cadash gets blown into Zinyak's Steelport simulation. The Boss gets dropped into her spot in Thedas. </p>
<p>From a tumblr prompt: </p>
<p>*pats about for the loose change of sudden prompts* uhh your inquisitor and your Saints Row boss (or favourite iteration thereof) switch places for a week. - Phrenotobe</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phrenotobe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phrenotobe/gifts).



“What the fuck…”

Goldie Cadash had taken just one too many fucking explosions in recent months. Well, maybe three too many explosions. Five. Enough to really give her the shits. This latest clusterfuck seemed to have put her back in the Fade, her least favourite place even without her being a dwarva. 

This time, her environment managed to look both dreamlike and sharply realistic. Instead of a mix of huts as she might have expected in Ferelden or rural Orlais, every house and shop seemed like a fortress, some reaching into the sky. Great metal beasts roamed the orderly streets, obediently stopping and making way for each other… no, not beasts. Looking closely, Goldie saw people sitting in them. Carriages, then, with some method of self-motivation. 

She snapped out of it enough to realise she was lying on the ground in a pile of crystals, the skin scabbed off her elbows and thighs where she’d been knocked down. Swearing vigourously, she rolled over and propped herself up, creaking to her feet. Painful, but no major damage. Well, may as well start walking. 

Her new surrounds distracted her almost entirely from the pain, the dull burn underscoring the strangeness. Women and men exposed their skin, wearing pants that barely covered their buttcheeks with collars that reached up to their ears. Glowing signs advertised prostitution and dens of iniquity proudly, not bothering to hide their true intent. 

Goldie thought that if she had to be in the Fade, this was a pretty fun version of it.


	2. Chapter 2

“Fuck me!”

The Boss landed in a shallow pool of mud that he swore wasn’t there a few seconds ago. Not just mud, either. His eyes watered and he spat furiously to avoid getting whatever the fuck that was in his mouth.

“Boss! Boss!”

Johnny? Nope, not Johnny - the dude leaning over with a hand out was easily twice the size of Gat, who was not a little dude by any means, and this guy had one of those horn helmets you could get from Let’s Pretend. The Boss grabbed his hand and together they wrenched him out of the mud.

“You OK, Boss?” The big dude was even bigger than he looked. And… that wasn’t a helmet, was it?

“Where am I? Who am I?” The Boss said it like a joke, but hoped the big dude would answer. This looked a lot like a Matt Miller special, though Mr. Horny seemed a fair bit beefier than Matt’s taste usually ran to.

“You’re fighting a FUCKING DRAGON,” said his new friend, a glowing grin spreading across his one-eyed face. The Boss looked down at himself. He was wearing some kind of all leather outfit in vampire red, with a flamboyant turquoise sash and thigh-high boots. No weapons at his side? Feeling at his back, he pulled forth a dagger shaped like a dragon wrapped around a cheese knife.

Thanks a bunch, Matt.

The big guy ran off to hurl himself at, yep, a FUCKING DRAGON (THANKS A _WHOLE_ BUNCH MATT). Boss wondered if this was one of those “no superpowers” simulations. Flexing his fingers, he tried to dredge up a freeze blast.

He dredged up something, anyhow - a blindingly fast image of himself stabbing the dragon in the ankle exactly twelve times. Huh.

Telekinesis and Stomp had apparently been disabled, but Buff seemed to work, though using ice attracted a cluster of fucking dog-sized lizards to bite his ass. He shattered them and ran around to the back of the dragon, or tried to - _no super sprint? Fucking get it together, Matt_ \- where someone in a sword'n'board outfit was hacking at its legs with some success, and in the distance, an elegant black woman in a silver gown hurled fireballs.

Wait. _Ish?_

The Boss’s distraction allowed enough time for the dragon to hurl its own fireball, and this time he was down til the match was over.


End file.
